Day 16. Release – On Saturday, March 18, 2017, our family held a small private visitation at Terrace Park Funeral Homes in Kansas City, MO. This is where we said our final goodbyes to our daughter. There are no adequate words in our language to describe how it feels to say goodbye to your child, knowing that you will never seem them again. There is nothing in this world that can prepare you for the kind of heartache you experience when you return home to an empty house. Following Emilia’s visitation, our family and friends gathered in the “BabyLand” portion of Mount Moriah Terrace Park Cemetery. We said a few words, played some appropriate music for the occasion and released a dozen of balloons into the sky in honor of Emilia. I later found out that family members in Nebraska, Connecticut, Washington, South Dakota, and Wyoming all took park in their own balloon releases in memory of Emilia that day. Can you imagine how amazing of a sight that was for Emilia?! Thank you for making that day a little extra special for our little girl.
Day 17. Anniversary/Birthday/Due Dates – We have yet to hit the one year mark of Emilia’s birth and passing, but we have celebrated many firsts this year. Our first few holidays without Emilia, her due date, my first Mother’s Day, Dan’s first Father’s Day, our first infant loss month celebrations… the list goes on. One memory I will forever hold close, is the day I donated my wedding gown to the Angel Gown Ministry. Emilia was scheduled to be born on April 27, 2017 via cesarean section. Dan and I decided there was no date more appropriate than April 27 to donate my dress to this ministry. The Angel Gown Ministries takes wedding dresses and turns one dress into several beautiful angel gowns. These gowns are worn by babies born asleep for their baptism or even as burial outfits. To make this even more special, the women who will make angel gowns from my wedding dress are the same women who made Emilia’s angel gown for her baptism. At the time my dress was donated, the Angel Gown Ministry here in Kansas City had collected exactly 590 wedding dresses. Each wedding dress can be recreated into anywhere from 5-25 angel gowns. The Angel gowns currently made have been sent to over 78 hospitals in 17 different states.
Day 18. Your Family Portrait – This is our family… The Clough Family! Although we appear to be a family of four, we have one extra special member who will always be a part of our family. No matter how big our family grows, we will always be short one. It wouldn’t feel right to have family photos without Emilia somehow incorporated into our portrait. Each time we have photos taken, we make sure to grab our little yellow bunny. The bunny pictured is the same yellow bunny that belonged to Emilia… A gift from North Kansas City Hospital. Although Emilia isn’t physically here, she is very much still a part of our family. We will always be a family of five, even if there are only four people physically occupying our home.
Day 19. Project – We have been working diligently to purchase CuddleCots for area hospitals. A CuddleCot is a small cooling device that is disguised inside a Moses basket that helps cool and preserves the body of a recently deceased infant. This allows a significant amount of time to be shared between the child and his or her family before they have to say goodbye. As of today, we are just shy of 80% to our goal of purchasing a CuddleCot for North Kansas City Hospital! To learn more about Cuddle Cots and our other various projects, we encourage you to check out our “Projects” pages. Be sure to come back often to see the difference Emilia’s life is making on the infant loss community. If you would like to support our cause, consider making a tax-deductible donation to Emilia’s Wings. Email us at info@emilias-wings.org to receive more information on how you can give.
Day 20. Charity/Organization – I am a tad bit bias, but my favorite charity that has touched my heart on my road of grief is Emilia’s Wings. I believe Emilia is just in the early stages of making incredible things happen through her nonprofit. For the last few decades, perinatal loss and discussion surrounded it has been such a taboo subject. My goal is to break down and demolition those barriers and to give back to the infant loss community as a way of support and encouragement. I truly believe there is no greater pain than experiencing the death of your own child. Losing a child isn’t just a life-changing event… It’s permanent. It defies all the natural rhythms of our world. The moment I found out that Emilia died, a large piece of my heart died and went to Heaven with her. I will forever be an advocate for my daughter, for other angel babies, for other infant loss families, and for my own. I refuse to live in a world where we do not recognize the lives of our children and I will continue to strive for that change until the day I am reunited with Emilia in Heaven.
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